Chapter 8

Lord, I wait on your answer.

I am a wretch and don’t deserve to hear your voice. My voice reaches from the pit. My soul stretches from the abyss. My tears can only fall upward.

This is how sinners cry.

Why is sickness all around? The feeble have no guide. There is no help on Earth. All reach, but no one has mercy to heal us. Why is death around? A forest of graves and memories of skulls are with me. I don’t hear my relatives anymore. Blood cries from underneath the driveway. The blood stops and is still and cold.

Jesus, my Savior.

When will the morning come? When will my mourning turn into joy? When will I laugh from the inside and not cry at the same time? When will I be seen? Lord, Heavenly Father, you see all. No one can hide from you. My sin is laid out plain before you. My sins drown out my calls for your help.

But Lord, you are gracious and merciful. It is only your righteousness that can save me. It is only your goodness that upholds me. I am stained, but you clean me with your blood. I am chaos, but you create order in my soul. Lord, you restore peace to my entire being.